Lizard

Cuteness: 2/10
Size: 1.71m human sized (don't be fooled, he's not human)
Defense/attack: 5454452/10 has all your data
Will it bite?: yes
Can I eat it?: i hope the fuck not
As a pet?: no (you're probably his pet)
Is it safe to pet?: ???

Overall, I give it:

2 stars

Pigeon

Cuteness: 10/10
Size: will fit in yourhands
Defense/attack: 3/10
Will it bite?: maybe
Can I eat it?: small chicken YES
As a pet?: yes 10/10 they will return home once they escape and eat bread
Is it safe to pet?: yes

Overall, I give it:

five stars

Cockatiel

Cuteness: 10/10 yos
Size: very small
Defense/attack: 2/10 screech and peck
Will it bite?: yos
Can I eat it?: y o s
As a pet?: yos 10/10
Is it safe to pet?: yos

Overall, I give it:

4 stars

Orangutan

Cuteness: 3/10 sorta cute i guess
Size: large
Defense/attack: all they do is sit peacefully and eat fruit but if they feel threatened, you're f*cked 8/10
Will it bite?: maybe
Can I eat it?: yes, the Indonesians are eating them to extinction
As a pet?: 10/10 very epic but will take a lot of resources
Is it safe to pet?: yes

Overall, I give it:

4 stars

Naked Mole-rat

Cuteness: -9/10 gross
Size: small
Defense/attack: 0/10
Will it bite?: no
Can I eat it?: ???????
As a pet?: 1/10
Is it safe to pet?: yes

Overall, I give it:

1 star

Raccoon

Cuteness: 10/10 v cute
Size: eh kinda small
Defense/attack: 10/10, will give you rabies
Will it bite?: y o s
Can I eat it?: y e s, it will give you rabies though
As a pet?: 8/10
Is it safe to pet?: no

Overall, I give it:

five stars